Thursday, November 10, 2011

Red Wind (for the dVerse Poet's writing prompt)

Red Wind
There was
a desert wind
blowing that night.

It was one of those
hot dry Santa Anas
that come down through
the mountain passes
and curl your hair,
make your nerves jump
and your skin itch.

On nights like that
every booze party
ends in a fight.
Meek little wives
feel the edge
of the carving knife
and study
their husbands'
necks.

Anything can happen.

You can even get
a full glass of beer
at a cocktail lounge.

Adapted from Raymond Chandler's short story "Red Wind"

12 comments:

Beachanny said...

this moves like a song - an edgy song, one you come in in the middle of, not knowing exactly what's happening, if you're in it or watching it; real, dream or some vague nightmare of a time that could have happened-- when you think, that wasn't really me, I don't think I had that much to drink!

zongrik said...

Meek little wives
feel the edge
of the carving knife
and study
their husbands'
necks. -> gruesome great imagery

Brian Miller said...

ha good luck getting that full glas....this is smooth steve and def rings of atmosphere...the line on the wives with knives....yikes...

Ginny Brannan said...

After reading your intriguing lines, think I will have to go back and read the short story. My curiosity is piqued! Enjoyed this!

The Cello Strings said...

LOVE THE SUNSET IMAGERY,
AMAZING POETRY.

Claudia said...

cool capture of the tenseness of the atmosphere here steve...and so cool to see you linked up with dVerse..honored to sharing a pint of verse with you in the pub...smiles

Yousei Hime said...

I have to confess, my favorite lines are all too revealing:

Meek little wives
feel the edge
of the carving knife
and study
their husbands'
necks.

zumpoems.com said...

Great film noire poetry!

Kathy Bischoping said...

What a perfect passage to choose -- I'm glad you left Chandler's words so untouched, and instead focused on an arrangement that reveals the internal rhymes (wives/knife, Santa Anas/passes) in his text, and how breath would be moving through the phrases.

Eden Baylee said...

Made me laugh out loud! Great one.
eden

The Gooseberry Garden said...

How are you today?

Happy end of November!

Appreciated your support to our poetry picnic,

Hope to see you share today,

A random poem or old poem will do the wonders too.

Your talent rocks.

Hope to see you in.

xoxox


loved your poetry a great deal.

Claudia said...

smiles..when i read this first i didn't know how santa ana winds exactly are...now i know...smiles