End Jamb
The conversation was rife
with well timed
pauses; intended
to keep balance at
bay. I raised my glass, sipped
slowly--deliberately.
“We really need to
talk” echoed over
the tinkle of
glass and silver
night.
“Maybe some time” // “apart”
(caesura)
The evening’s exchange wore down, then end-stopped.
with well timed
pauses; intended
to keep balance at
bay. I raised my glass, sipped
slowly--deliberately.
“We really need to
talk” echoed over
the tinkle of
glass and silver
night.
“Maybe some time” // “apart”
(caesura)
The evening’s exchange wore down, then end-stopped.
SMG
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10 comments:
first, thanks for linking up at one shot...love the way you play with form...particularly there at the end...it makes a good statement...a tough conversation that...nice write.
"Maybe some time"//"apart"
Love that... :)
Oh, those dreaded words "We really need to talk". You captured the essence of that always awkward conversation brilliantly. Liked the set-up of the poem, too.
i think this was a great entry on One Shot Day..as Brian said, the way you play with it makes a good statement...and the end is great..well done & thanks for joining
Like that - and know this situation well. Very well described. Nice to meet you! Claudia
There are so many ways to take this type of conversation. I like how you've captured the disjointed, emotions not quite engaged yet variety.
Very well written...the pauses, the difficulty of words...ended well without callous though the painful understanding....great writing!
I remember those words "we need to talk". It most often ends up being something I have done wrong! This is a very unique poem, and it really makes you think over the context of those words.
Cold as the silver night
Will timed, Keeping balance
Minds already set, decisions made
Before the tinkle of glass
Well done
Thanks for all the nice comments! It means a great deal to me.
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