You fell asleep somewhere over the Atlantic,
and I watched you as Stevie Ray wept in my ear.
I couldn’t help
but think back
to that little café
on the Potomac,
you so sure
of your disinterest.
I talked around
your façade
and searched
for open windows
over glasses
of pinot grigio
and warm beer.
Afternoon showers
chased us
from the terrace
and we laughed
all the way
back to your car.
The pilot’s voice startled the moment and you shifted in your seat
before settling back down with your head on my shoulder.
I smelled your hair
and thought back
to the months
and the miles in between,
you in the District
and me hanging
by a phone line
in the San Diego sun.
There were tears
and rendezvous
to mark the time;
nibble at the distance,
until I U-Hauled my life
cross country
in 72 hours flat.
I smiled when I saw
the Potomac again
and your welcoming
kiss made the clock
spin back in my head.
The bump and screech of rubber on the Amsterdam concrete
shook the sleep from your eyes so I took your hand and pulled
the plug on Jimi’s Slight Return so I could hear you say
“I love you”
SMG
23 comments:
oh wow - this is beautiful steven - talked around your facade, searching for open windows…great use of words
Enjoy the love story of the past merged with the love story of the present. Wonderful how things work out.
Thanks for sharing this with One Shot
Smiles from the Moon
This reads like smooth music, and the fade of colors in the sky of the pic is magnificent too. thanks
This was so lovely. The remembrance of a newly born relationship told so well I felt like I was intruding. "U-Hauled my life" was just great - such imagery!
That's a LOVE poem. Nothing syrupy, but a true testament to love, and commitment and caring. I loved the musical interludes. They make the scene so real and give the ending such power. Great job of poetic construction in free verse. Excellent. Thank you.
Just Beautiful - one can picture and become part of this whole piece...blessings...and here's to living happily after...bkm
Beautiful love story well told.
I love it. Your use of the Now interspersed with the Then is so effective. This just the happy ending one could wish for a long-distance romance.
love the mix of verse and prose...it brings the story together nicely...great thoughts on those precious moment of young love...nice oneshot!
LOVELY..i agree with Brian here,i enjoyed the mix between the verse and prose too..such a beautiful way to keep those unforgettable moments always alive..:)thank you for sharing with one shot :))
I enjoy this slice of life story. The short lines seem to work well with it. Well written. - Bill
Your welcoming kiss made the clock
spin back in my head........beautiful!
Oh, I like this -- the lovers on the iarplane -- the story being played between announcements on the intercom.
i could have kept reading forever... you write professionally; you write so well. i'm pleased to 'meet' you. thanks for stopping by my place, too. e.
I love me a good reminiscing session - just what this had to offer. I especially liked the descriptions - warm beer, laughing all the way back to the car, adds color to the story. Enjoyed the poem.
Oh wow! Love your writing here, my good chum! :)
Great One Shot Steven... Great write, fantastically woven together... beautiful. Be Inspired Today! Love and Light, Sender
Loved the concrete "show" details and the use of prose to focus the stanzas as thought reflections over a passage of time. As well as the intertwining of the now and then. Thanks for dropping by and commenting on my poem The final seaside trip. I hope you have a good week!
This is truly a 'love' poem, very genuine and warm. (Also, kudos for the excellent 'play list')
Now isn't this a beautiful thing...a multilayered love story. Strong command of language, with a very smooth flow. Well done!
this was a beautiful piece for One shot...a love story that swept me off my feet and had a perfect ending..cheers pete
I really enjoyed this poem. Completely romantic and special. How memories are cherished, and shared with that special loved one. It's amazing how familiar trips, can bring back distant memories. Can't wait to read your poem next week.
I enjoyed this very much! Finding love along the Potomac, long-distance relationship, U-Hauling your life cross country, touch-down in Amsterdam...all these aspects woven into a poem with such potent use of language: "I talked around your facade and searched for open windows..." Fantastic! Of course, you had me at "and I watched you as Stevie Ray wept in my ear."
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