Armistice
A grey cigarette haze lingered
above the bed like gun smoke
over a battlefield and we,
the casualties of war,
lay beneath. When we kissed
and she said she could see
Manzanar in my eyes.
At times love is a negotiation
between desire and history.
The clock on the bedside table
flashed in dim red numbers
as the battery was nearly spent.
After the passion runs low
there are not many choices;
a long march in the Philippine sun,
a desert cage of spiral concertina wire
or a one last bloody conflict that ends
with the squeeze of a trigger.
with the squeeze of a trigger.
21 comments:
"or the final squeeze..."
felt that.
Astonishing - a striking read. The last line, powerful.
A war of internment. Very clever, and thought provoking write, I'm not sure about my American history, but I'm unsure whether relations between the Americans and the Japanese ever lay comfortably after WW2. Great as always x
Harrowing depth. Your references are perceptive, literally in sight and taste. Damn good
whew...yeah when loves battlefield starts leaving casualities or taking hostages...it becomes a tough decision...
The battlefield of love, truly a place of loss. Great word choice. I really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing!
Love this kind of writing, where history is EXPERIENCED - via your excellent wordsmithing - rather than talked about.
Great work.
wonderful historic write Steven...I worked with ladies from the Phillipines...one said her father as a little boy saw his mother shot...they still have not forgotten...war always last much longer than the years outlined in history books....nice writing...bkm
Sweet, I get it now.
great read, great write, great descriptions, and a great way of showing how poetry can be written... seriously good poem...pete
Melodic and evocative. I particularly like: "At times love is a negotiation
between desire and history."
you made something abstract personal..gave war a face and a taste..great write steven..loved the line whenlove is a negotiation
between desire and history..
This is really impressive. Just a fantastic piece.
Fabulous. Absolutely. And very well written.
Reminds me of something I read by an Australian, thought I'd send it;
http://anotherlostshark.com/2011/02/15/yasi/
I was "in" it. You damn sure don't "tell". Maybe nothing is fair in love and war. Actually that seems to be what life has taught me. Who said we could have guns and butter anyway?
This is riveting and as everyone else has said your mastery of the language and the metaphor is sensational! (I think you knew that though, didn't you?) Really excellent piece! Gay
Strong beginning - it yanked me into the poem and I couldn't get away. I love this kind of extended metaphor.
http://vnesdolypoems.wordpress.com
Its a great one shot. I liked you last line so much. Thanks for sharing...
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/whispers-memories-from-living.html
At Twitter @VerseEveryDay
Very powerful as well. I see how love can be so powerful and strong
sad.
frightful and tense.
powerful account.
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