Prompt Here
And the Days Run
And the days run
together like delta rivers.
And the days run
faster as we become undone,
broken glass shattered to slivers,
disappointment life delivers.
A man, in time, slowly withers--
and the days run.
SMG
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28 comments:
Wow, this is so well formulated and profound! Beautiful.
This is an excellent poem, Steve. There is so much depth in so few lines. Where were rondelets like this when I was looking for them?
nice repeating line...it gives the dreary feel that goes with the disappointment....not bad for a slow day at work poem...
Such an effective refrain.
I too like the refrain - and the days run ~ The contrast in meaning from the first line to the last is well done ~
so cool to read a new piece from you Steven, and I really like this one.
eden
Nice one, man!
The way you have written this....well, the poem is really beautiful.
somehow i just didn't trust my eyes when i saw you in the linky as i never thought you would do form but wow...you did really well steve...love the delta rivers and the slow withering...ugh..
Simply excellent.
I really love the depth in this poem... you manage what is so difficult when writing short. Great work
I like the way you compared days to rivers.
...and the days run as life must go on... and time will never stop even if all men has slowly withered... loved it... smiles... it did sing reality to my ears that at times counted sad by those who know nothing of acceptance...
oh this is really cool.
love how you added the extra line to put emphasis on your words...
the days run - indeed.
Very evocative and, for me, captures the way in which the days run together when you're depressed or in a rut and you just can't get out of it. Every day seems the same and everything you do a repeat of the last. And it is withering. Beautiful work.
and on the days run...
leaving us broken with disappointment, or not caring as on they run....
so what about choosing from the list and write a new one...stretching the poetic muscles a bit...? smiles
Steven, this form lent itself so well to the theme of days flying by. And they seem to run faster as I grow older.
Beautiful job, it feels as if it spirals upon itself, a curling wave. I will have to try this form, this was one I skipped :)
You have spoken truth here. I know exactly what you mean. The days run......
so fixing the the photo... nice
the truth encapsulated in a few succinct lines!...thankyou!
Days running like delta rivers... I like that a lot!
Very nice work...poignant too.
Sad but beautiful--the days do run together, more so the older we get. Great work!
Ain't it the truth! And you said it so well - liquid feel and glassy too. I love yesterday's and today's poem. Both had rivers running through them. Good to read you again. Hope you're well. I've missed you!
Just perfect!
The days run... that is true.
A well-written creation.. and as I mentioned- very truthful.
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