A Guilt You Would Not Understand

A Guilt You Would Not Understand

A knock on the door

that echoed in

the unreachable distance.

The last indelible image

of my love as you faded

in the darkness

of a back bedroom.

The foreboding

that swarmed me

ignored, in favor of

an agenda long forgotten.

The immediacy of the day

superseding the years

of sacrifice in my favor.

The hours spent

playing catch in the absence

of a grandfather or father

not otherwise engaged.

You were love and acceptance

in my eyes and when you passed

I was passive and afraid.

Betrayed by a single weak vessel

in that brain that I so admired,

you lay helpless, a state

that was an anathema

to everything I knew you to be.

Forgive me

for not kicking

that goddamn door down

and carrying you to the help

that might have saved you

and all that you were to me.

SMG