Prom NightFireflies flash
in the faded autumn light
and burst in auroras
on fogged car windows.
The desire within
is oblivious to the show,
mindful only
of the steering wheel
and the finish line.
The darkness waits,
patiently, until
the lovers are sated.
Soon enough
it will invade,
like the doubt
that comes with sunrise.
SMG
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18 comments:
the steering wheel and the finish line. nice. There's a warmth to the language here, despite the dark topic.
You should change your categories. "Good" is not sufficient to characterize anything that you write. "Brilliant," "smart," "clever," and "insightful" are a few appropriate descriptors.
great imaginary!
Brilliant poem :)
dount in the morning after fogging the windows at night...hmm...yep...sounds like high school...smiles. nice one shot.
Like your use of alliteration in first two lines, and especially how you related the fireflies to a "burst in auroras/ on fogged car windows". The relating of fireflie' "flash" with desire held in abeyance and then "soon enough" to disappear also is nice, because unexpected as a way to think about love and light.
Ah, the blush of idiocy, I mean, youth - in its various meanings and hues - is lost all too quickly. Excellent work. :)
The heat of passions..and youth...though never an experienced placement...I do however smile for the thought of the drive-in movie theaters. (now so very little of them across the country...) Great writing Steven! ~ April =))
How do the windows get foggy???
Oh those "lustful" nights
Thanks for the Prom One Shot (two proms down one to go)
Just a reminder that we would love you to enter the One Stop Competition (ends oct 22).
Moon Smiles
"Oh...those summer nights" and parking afterwards. I remember it well. Good capture. Thanks, Gay @beachanny
"the doubt that comes with sunrise"....that describes prom night prefectly....very nice and congrat's at being highlighted at One Shot...bkm
I'm with Brian. Sounds just like high school. And those nights watching the submarine races.
Witty piece, and quite reflective of the time--the momentary surrenders, often lead to waking doubt. Beautiful imagery, reflecting the true innocence/ignorance and the passion of youth.
"Fireflies flash" You had me with the first 2 words... well described feelings and awkwardness of what for many was/is a coming right of passage. Nice One Shot, Steven! Enjoyed your spotlight feature too. thanks
Darkness waits until the love is sated... very beautifully written verse... thanks for sharing.. great shot....
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/
i loved the flashing fireflies..unfortunately we never had fireflies when the windows fogged up...think lots of people can relate to your description of moments like this - just again - you found the right words
and again you find the right words...heady days of youth that we yearn too often to revisit...great write my friend
Nicely interwoven images, Steven... a dandy One Shot!
The first stanza is especially beautiful.
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