Excruciating AtomsI tried
to calculate
the weight of sorrow;
break it down
to its component parts.
Duplicate fermions
were assumed
to be irrelevant
based on Pauli’s spin.
Intrinsic angular
momentums
were observed
and each element
was cataloged
and classified.
Heartbreak (Hb7)
was a constant
as was Loss (Gn3)
and its partner
Pain (Ow4).
Each
excruciating atom
was taken into account
right down to the quark.
The final analysis
determined
that up and down,
charm and strange
failed to add up
to the collective mass
required to account
for this leaden feeling
in my chest.
to calculate
the weight of sorrow;
break it down
to its component parts.
Duplicate fermions
were assumed
to be irrelevant
based on Pauli’s spin.
Intrinsic angular
momentums
were observed
and each element
was cataloged
and classified.
Heartbreak (Hb7)
was a constant
as was Loss (Gn3)
and its partner
Pain (Ow4).
Each
excruciating atom
was taken into account
right down to the quark.
The final analysis
determined
that up and down,
charm and strange
failed to add up
to the collective mass
required to account
for this leaden feeling
in my chest.
Posts
20 comments:
I love the way you wrap it up in the end. From complex and intricate to the simple, sad feeling inside you.
Wow - we even have the atoms involved in this heart ache.
Masterfully done Steve. I love the scientific merging with art.
A One Shot out of this world
moon smiles
nice...the weigh tint he chest sometimes does not add up nor can it be explained beyond that which is missing, not what is there...nice one shot!
Clever and well done!
I like how you worked in fermium - radioactive chemical element as metaphor for love's heartbreak - and quark, and those other bits of science that in the end even science can't explain.
You summed up sorrow one atom at a time.
Brilliant... deep poem with great references. My favorite among many was OW4. The weight of sorrow also accounts for gravity through your words.
Beautiful equation.... and interesting...
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
i would add to everyone that i loved the last lines in particular..very well build up for the whole poem..clever structure..great!
Very well done. I wish I could break my soul and heart down to something scientific in explanation, lol. One night I wrote a quick mathematical breakdown along twitter which is so unlike my style of writing:
mathematical complexity, she multiplies heart by dreams & love/ subtracts pain/ divides her soul/leaving a fraction of herself #micropoetry
Really our emotions make us wonder of everything revolving around them.
I really enjoyed this writing of yours, and agree with Leslie "masterful"
This is wonderful the complexity of love and the heart - trying to calculate its pain and effect...Love Pauli --- is there a unification of emotion and science? You have set the question into motion...bkm
i think it's just not possible to calculate the weight of sorrow...same sorrow today weighs 50 tons and tomorrow only 50 gramm..this is really good - cool idea to merge it with science
I think you forgot to account for a few variables:
Heartbreak (Hb7) is a constant within the instance, yet varies from case to case.
Pain (Ow4) is a diminishing value but the decay rate varies. Also, the specific gravity is inversely proportionate to its proximity of Heartbreak (Hb7)
Scienteriffic One Shot, Steven!
I love the "quarkiness" of this!
As he was dying, my husband kept saying if he could only find the right equation he was sure it would reveal how he could heal himself. I believe he was working calculations to the end. The mind of a scientist so far beyond the one I have. Thank you for this unusual and beautiful piece. Gay @beachanny
Ow it was beautifully sad and scientific. I got the answer to the equation. And it's not e equals m c squared :) lovely write hun xxxx glad I popped by
Didn't you do this one for http://combatwords.blogspot.com ? Good edits.
No I wrote this:
Sirius
Strange attractors dance
in the southern sky,
a stellar parallax;
singular or differentiated
dependent on point of view.
Pulled across autumn night
radial velocity increased
as we approached critical mass;
the unavoidable orbital decay
of love on the event horizon.
What is seen as the brightest
star in the night sky is in truth
two bodies moving together;
a bright main star termed Sirius A,
and her companion white dwarf.
From this elliptical apex I can see
how your luminosity eclipsed me,
your pull overwhelms; sucks me in,
even as my weakened mass
is drawn once again to your side.
-------------------------------
And this:
Exuvium
I watched waterfalls
of black magenta
dance on my groin
and that scorpion tattoo
didn’t seem so menacing
in the candle light.
Born a Scorpio
On All Saint’s Day
you fucked like a god,
drank all my pleasure
with a courtesan’s smile
and an innocent blush.
What was it you said
about the feel of a new cock?
I should have noticed
impending separation,
the lethargy of apolysis,
as you began to outgrow
my constrictive convention
and stunted bank account
The pain of the ecdysis
was slight when compared
the sting of being left behind,
a shell that could only watch
as you and the scorpion
strode off to your next instar.
---------------------------------
Neither of which is any good but in my defense I have not gone back to fix them either
This song is beautiful!
So creative wtih a perfect ending!
Wow, first time to your place. Science poetry....nice mix. This poem, nice detail of a broken heart and it's components. Wouldn't it be great sometimes simply to quanitfy love but impossible...love has too many quarks.
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