Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Pipinoukhe

Pipinoukhe

I blew dandelion fluff
across the city sky last night.
I wanted to cover the sins
and blanket
the dirty sidewalks.

Each steamy breath
carried the seeds
of downy redemption
across metropolis
and into the night air.

The cab drivers
scurried out of the city
and headed to Brooklyn,
sugar cyclones
in their wake.

Pedestrians brushed

off my efforts
and cursed aloud
at the yellow bastards
as they raced for the bridge.

I began to tire
around midnight but
got my second wind
at two, so I kept at it
until just before dawn.

About six, spent,
I nodded off
and had dreams
of the old days;
back before salt,
plows and shovels,
back when the city
was a promise
and its sins
were still forgivable.

SMG

*(Re-post from Drink This Cola)

21 comments:

Claudia said...

steven - i love it - read it three times (and will probably read it another three times..)cover the sins with dandelion fluff - a playful effort to make unhappen what no one can make unhappen again - and yet - we never give up...really dig this

Timoteo said...

Just shakin' my head again and wearing that grin...yep!

Khakjaan Wessington said...

Channeling the end of Gatsby, eh?

Liked it.

repressedsoul said...

Feels like an end of an era but the start of something new. Great writing I love seeing your poems. Don't ever give up

forpuck said...

Really liked this one. Very strong.

poemblaze said...

Wonderful imagery, unusual word choices, great job.

Steve Isaak said...

Good work,with its metropolitan, child-innocent elements. Effective.

hedgewitch said...

Simple and effective. And I like poems where I have to look up the title.

Brian Miller said...

starts off very fanciful...the hope to cover the sins..and ends rather serious perhaps even the hope before it all began...

Monkey Man said...

Playfully delicious.

Maureen said...

I really like how you opened this poem with these memorable lines: "I blew dandelion fluff/ across the city sky last night."

Beachanny said...

Not exactly omniscient viewpoint--more like a godly view. Gone the innocence and purity, seems to be quite a universal winter theme. Very well written and enjoyable.

signed...bkm said...

great images of the city here..as if walking through the streets, throughout the nigh...the last stanza ...sins still were forgivable ....nice ending to a night...bkm

DeLi said...

city lights! and the many sort of tales with it...

lukepraterswordsalad said...

great poem; strong Narrative voice here. Speaks loud and clear and in fine figurative form too.... good stuff

Regards

Luke @ WordSalad

Desert Rose said...

AHA..got me smiling here..RE-reading for more Fulfillment..Raw and authentic..GREAT :)

wkkortas said...

The "dandelion fluff" is a lovely image, and the whole piece flows wonderfully--it's well-paced and visual. The piece strikes the right balance between the ethereal and the everyday; a lesser writer might have strayed into sentimental sugariness. Fine piece of work.

Eric Alder said...

Snow as dandelion fluff, a harbinger of forgiveness and grace... very nice!

But I can't help thinking I've heard something similar somewhere...

Kodjo Deynoo said...

What a first line..and then the flow through. One shot

Mama Zen said...

Oh, wow! This is a marvelous piece!

dustus said...

Interesting beginning. Looking skyward for both poem and pic. Like the detail of the cyclone, fitting to occur after the line mentioning Brooklyn.