I blew dandelion fluff
across the city sky last night.
I wanted to cover the sins
and blanket
the dirty sidewalks.
Each steamy breath
carried the seeds
of downy redemption
across metropolis
and into the night air.
The cab drivers
scurried out of the city
and headed to Brooklyn,
sugar cyclones
in their wake.
Pedestrians brushed
off my efforts
and cursed aloud
at the yellow bastards
as they raced for the bridge.
I began to tire
around midnight but
got my second wind
at two, so I kept at it
until just before dawn.
About six, spent,
I nodded off
and had dreams
of the old days;
back before salt,
plows and shovels,
back when the city
was a promise
and its sins
were still forgivable.
SMG
*(Re-post from Drink This Cola)
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21 comments:
steven - i love it - read it three times (and will probably read it another three times..)cover the sins with dandelion fluff - a playful effort to make unhappen what no one can make unhappen again - and yet - we never give up...really dig this
Just shakin' my head again and wearing that grin...yep!
Channeling the end of Gatsby, eh?
Liked it.
Feels like an end of an era but the start of something new. Great writing I love seeing your poems. Don't ever give up
Really liked this one. Very strong.
Wonderful imagery, unusual word choices, great job.
Good work,with its metropolitan, child-innocent elements. Effective.
Simple and effective. And I like poems where I have to look up the title.
starts off very fanciful...the hope to cover the sins..and ends rather serious perhaps even the hope before it all began...
Playfully delicious.
I really like how you opened this poem with these memorable lines: "I blew dandelion fluff/ across the city sky last night."
Not exactly omniscient viewpoint--more like a godly view. Gone the innocence and purity, seems to be quite a universal winter theme. Very well written and enjoyable.
great images of the city here..as if walking through the streets, throughout the nigh...the last stanza ...sins still were forgivable ....nice ending to a night...bkm
city lights! and the many sort of tales with it...
great poem; strong Narrative voice here. Speaks loud and clear and in fine figurative form too.... good stuff
Regards
Luke @ WordSalad
AHA..got me smiling here..RE-reading for more Fulfillment..Raw and authentic..GREAT :)
The "dandelion fluff" is a lovely image, and the whole piece flows wonderfully--it's well-paced and visual. The piece strikes the right balance between the ethereal and the everyday; a lesser writer might have strayed into sentimental sugariness. Fine piece of work.
Snow as dandelion fluff, a harbinger of forgiveness and grace... very nice!
But I can't help thinking I've heard something similar somewhere...
What a first line..and then the flow through. One shot
Oh, wow! This is a marvelous piece!
Interesting beginning. Looking skyward for both poem and pic. Like the detail of the cyclone, fitting to occur after the line mentioning Brooklyn.
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